Feminist Guide to The Bachelor: Season 18, Episode 2

The episode begins with all of the ladies chilling by the pool, discussing how jealous they are that Clare gets to go on the first 1:1 date with Juan Pablo. (I love that they're still letting the dog chill in the house. He's swimming in the pool having the time of his life while these other bitches are panting for Pablo.) -- [Editor's note: Jesus Christ, are all of these going to be two hours? This is exhausting.] -- To make the date as seductive as possible, Juan Pablo leaves Clare …

Feminist Guide to The Bachelor: Season 18, Episode 1

Season 18 of The Bachelor debuted earlier this week, and myself - along with millions of other disillusioned Americans - watched with a mixture of delight and disgust as 27 single women threw themselves at the sexy Juan Pablo Galavis. --- The premiere episode kicked off with the usual tantalizing montage of the newest 'Bach throughout the upcoming season, juxtaposed against footage of him playing with his daughter or kicking around a soccer ball, to remind us what a well-rounded catch this man …

The Downfall of Taylor Swift

Remember when people really liked Taylor Swift? --- Back in 2006, when she first burst onto the music scene with her hit single "Our Song," fans instantly connected to her honest lyrics and down-to-earth personality. Girls wanted to be her best friend and guys wanted to bring her home to mom. She even beat out Beyonce for Best Female Video at the 2009 VMAs (much to the chagrin of Kanye West). And then she got, ummmm, kind of annoying. From her bushels of boyfriends to her Amy Poehler / Tina …

The Unemployment Diary – Part 9 – It’s not so bad

How long can one person sit in their apartment, devoid of all social interaction, before going mad? How much daytime TV can a human consume before losing all faith in humanity, and in modern television programming? And just how much stress can one neurotic Jewess endure before going completely bat-shit insane? --- These are all questions we've aimed to answer throughout the last three installments of The Unemployment Diary, featuring Angela Bunt as the main player. Fortunately for Angela, the …

Jackie takes a visit to the optometrist

I have not been to an eye doctor in years. --- Once I moved to the eastern side of the state, I never got around to getting myself a new eye doctor. I've had the same pair of cruddy glasses since highschool, and only use them for watching TV (when I'm not too lazy to get up and grab them) or when I go out to the movies. --- I have been yelled at dozens of times by my family to get contacts, or to "go put on your glasses!" "stop squinting!" " you're going to kill a pedestrian!" etc. etc. Have …

5 Things That Might Make You Feel Better About Getting Dumped

In the space between the time that you're born and the time that you're married, it's inevitable that you'll experience some type of heartbreak--and probably more than once. Getting dumped is almost a rite of passage in your transition from Young And Naive Human to Jaded And Knowing Adult. --- Even the hottest, coolest, and most badass of us are not immune to such things--Lord knows I have dealt with my fair share of rejection, and I f*cking rule. But more important than how you got dumped, …

The Unemployment Diary – Part 8 – Lies my parents told me

When we last heard from Angela, she was just entering into the scary and unknown terrain of the "starving artist" lifestyle. Unsure whether she would sink or swim, she turned to drugs and alcohol to help her cope. Just kidding -- she can't afford any of that sh*t anymore. Read on to find out how she survived her first summer as a writer, and what awaits her in the fall. Hint: It includes large quantities of peanut butter. --- A 100-degree day in July Just got off the phone with my mom. I …

Confessions of a non-shopaholic: One woman’s struggles

The act of shopping is one that brings joy and relaxation to both men and women throughout the world. Clothing, food, hardware -- there are countless stores in which you can find countless people lackadaisically browsing the aisles, many of whom don't even have the intention to buy anything. They just "like" it. While I enjoy the occasional romp through a Forever 21 as much as the next gal, for the most part shopping doesn't -- ahem -- bring out the best in me. --- The first type of shopping …

My 5 irrational fears and other bizarre psychoses

Everybody is afraid of something. Be it heights, roller coasters or airplanes, when put in the right situation even the bravest of us can turn into weeping puddles of mush. I know, I know, my tough and hilarious exterior would lead you to believe that I have super-human cojones, but even Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes and that man is a badass. So in an effort to relate to all of the normal people out there, I've comprised a list of my top five biggest- and coincidentally most irrational- …

The Unemployment Diary – Part 7 – Like father, like daughter

It's been almost a year since we last read about Rod Bunt's misadventures in unemployment. Have no fear - he's still as unemployed as ever, but how long can you write about sitting on your ass until it goes from utterly hilarious to utterly sad? Luckily, a new development in the Bunt family has allowed us to bring back everybody's favorite series about life in the 99 percent... Angela just got laid off! Check out the 7th installment in our Unemployment Diary series and the first contribution …