Slightly informative news brief

* President Obama squashed all the Gates-Crowley beef on Thursday in one of the coolest Presidential moves in our nation’s history– They got a load on!

According to the Associated Press, “with mugs of beer and calming words” Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., Cambridge, Mass. police Sgt. James Crowley, and President Obama hashed out their little incident and moved on with their lives. Hopefully the country will, too. But what I want to know is: What kind of beer were they drinking?

* July’s employment report is projected to show a decrease in job losses for the month, with a total of 340,000 jobs lost. Seems like a lot, but it’s actually 127,000 jobs less than in June.

Think positive!

According to the Associated Press, President Obama said that since taking office in January the unemployment rate has slowed. But wait, “The slowdown in job cuts is a positive sign for the labor market, though most economists still expect the unemployment rate to keep rising into next year. The jobless rate, which reached 9.5 percent in June, is widely expected to top 10 percent by year’s end.” (AP)

Goddammit, I’m never getting out of my parents’ house.

*The House of Representatives just passed a new food safety bill which requires more government inspections of food companies. The bill, which came about after nine people were killed from a salmonilla outbreak in peanuts, will also impose new penalties on those who violate food safety laws.

“The legislation would require greater oversight of food manufacturers and give the Food and Drug Administration new authority to order recalls. It also would require the FDA to develop a system for better tracing food-borne illnesses. Food companies would be required to create detailed food safety plans.” (AP)

This is good news for me, because I’m an avid hotdog eater. In fact, I ate three the other night, and you know most food-borne illnesses come from those dense tubes of pig ass. Ever read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”? Wait, were those pigs or cows? Whatever. *chomps into hamburger.*

And HERE is a link to the top stories in World news. Get informed, baby.