The Cancer Book

No, seriously. Fuck you.

No, seriously. Fuck you.

I was told to buy a notebook to keep track of all the important information I would be getting regarding Rod’s cancer. Rod’s cancer. After being married for a long time there aren’t many things that belong to one or the other of us. This would sometimes annoy me.

I would say something about using Rod’s car and he would correct me that it wasn’t his car but our car and that he just happens to drive it more often. I tell him people need their own things. I tell him we are too close and should have more friends.

Rod’s cancer is in his body but it belongs to us both. There is not one second that I am not thinking of it and choking from the fear of it. He takes a pain pill and I take something for stress.  We take turns getting up throughout the night.

This is the sickness in “sickness and health.” This is the worse in “for better or worse.”  This is the “‘til death do us part” and neither of us are prepared to part. 

There is still too much to do. And I don’t want to do any of it without him.

I went to buy the “cancer book” because I will be in charge of keeping track of things. It is good that I write things down since I am unable to remember anything and the details and appointments keep coming.  My brain is Jell-O, I shake and can pass out at any moment. Every doctor visit leaves me weaker and less helpful. I thought I’d be stronger. I have to get my shit together.

Too many days had passed and I had notes written everywhere. Had to get the cancer book.

Dollar store and cancer.

In all fairness, the dollar store is pretty overwhelming.

I walked over to the dollar store – the fake dollar store that really charges more than a dollar – and browsed through all the notebooks. There were some pretty ones with colorful designs. I stared for several minutes at one that said, “Be happy” on the cover and thought if I get that it would show the doctors that I had an upbeat, positive attitude. Maybe I wanted to prove to the cancer that I was being positive and it would retreat a little. Then I passed on that one and looked at the cute polka dotted ones. Who doesn’t love polka dots? I like them!  Cancer would hate polka dots. Cancer is dark and ugly so polka dots would just make it mad and well… you see where I was going and then I just got hysterical and grabbed  a blue spiral notebook which ended up costing more money than I had on me so I didn’t even buy it.

Having an anxiety attack in the fake dollar store is not strange when your husband has cancer. I thought it was, but after speaking with others I hear it is pretty routine.

I have since purchased a plain black and white composition book as the cancer book and it is coming in very handy. All of the appointments, doctor names and tests go in there.  It is becoming a very important book and it is helping keep me sane. It cost $1 at the real dollar store.

It’s Rod and Rochelle’s cancer book and I can’t wait until we burn the fucker.

Click here to read part 2: “Chemotherapy, Round Two”
Click here to read part 3: “Dear Man

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Comments

  1. When I say that I love this–obviously, you know what I mean. Not the subject or the fact that this is all really happening, but the guts to write it all down and share it here. So I guess I support this. That seems a lot more sensitive than “Hey guys, love all this cancer stuff!” Not that anyone knows what the hell to say at a time like this.

    I think the rule of thumb is that if it feels crazy, it’s probably normal. So, Dollar Tree panic attacks are basically requisite. Also, amen to burning the fucker.

  2. Found out about Rod’s situation the other day. Shocked me. My thoughts go out to Rod, you and the entire family

  3. This made me cry. At my desk. Love you both – here if you need anything, cell phone is still the same number. ❤

  4. I love you both … kia kaha, kia toa, kia manawanui …

  5. Kate M. says:

    Love you both! F U Cancer

  6. I won’t pretend to be among those who this news effects the most, but it’s been on my mind a great deal. I really wish the best for all of you Bunts. I understand – certainly to a smaller extent, what it’s like to have a family member deal with trying medical issues. You’ve all always been great to me and my family, especially considering the support for Brianna. I know you guys are a tight-knit group and have a great circle of people surrounding you, but please know you’re in all of our (Cimino’s) thoughts. And of course, if there’s anything that remotely helps, don’t think of hesitating to speak up.

  7. Melanie says:

    Rochelle, Bob& I have the 2 of you in our thoughts & prayers. Spoke with Linda earlier & she thoroughly explained to me what has occurred since Fathers Day.
    Much love coming your way from the Levy’s. xoxo

  8. katethebride says:

    I dont have any words to say how sad this whole situation is. Sending Car RamRod and your family all our strength.<3 Bid & Kate(Bride Kate)

  9. Alyssa B. says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Rod. I haven’t seen you guys in a long time but I know how strong your family is and I know you will all get through this. This post is proof that you haven’t lost your guts to tell it like it is Rochelle (or your sense of humor), and I can tell you from my experience as a nurse that having the right attitude can make all the difference. I will put you in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. Rochelle says:

    Thank you all for the wonderful support. We appreciate it more than we could possibly express.xo

  11. omg! i am so, so sorry. my family went though this last year so i understand…. all i can say is that i send my love, and i am thinking about you.

  12. You are in our prayers. If you need anything I’m just down the street.

  13. Take it easy, assbags. I’m still HERE.

  14. cor cor says:

    I love you both and Im your reiki practitioner … IM COMING UP TOMORROW IM ON VACA

  15. Darlene McCarthy says:

    As always, sending positive thoughts and strength your way!! Think Cancer messed with the wrong people, you two have strength in numbers and from all the people pulling for you and praying for you I would say you have some great numbers and support!!

  16. Staci & Max says:

    Thinking of you guys and please let me know if you ever need anything ❤ ❤

  17. Oh Yeah – Cancer can go fuck it’s smelly, drooly cousin (you know, the one that always has a KOOLAID mustache and wears a dreamcatcher/wolf howling at the moon t-shirt?) EW

  18. Mary Roth says:

    Jimmy Buffet wrote a ditty years ago entitled” The I-95 Song”. The lyricsa are a lot less than sweet; however, that’s something I’veI never claimed to be. Whenever I get really apoplectically disgruntled with a person or a situation, I hum that song in my head. I uplift myself and “get even” in a nasty, wretched sort of way. And so I say to the cancer, “were you born one, or have you worked at it your whole life ?” As for the cancer tome from the dollar store, perhaps looking at that volume can be considered in a different light. I would never burn it, but would keep it as a written testament to real love; Photograph albums are full of smiles and wonderful times, but what about a record of weathering storms? The tornadoes and tsunamis of life are the real stories of survival and determination. One of the situations impressed in my heart and mind is the Holocaust. My mind cannot even begin to imagine the pain and sorrow the survivors feel to this day. But “Never Forget” rings out constantly, and the ungodliness that each living victim feels and remembers is a testament to real love and the will to go on. So keep the notebook, use at a notebook, deal with the uncertainty and anger

  19. Mary Roth says:

    and sing the I-95 song to the cancer. And don’t forget to hold the myriad blessings that you never expected to assuage your pain close to heart………And Roddy, I know you’re still here and will be—- I am not an assbag!

  20. I understand the pain and the horror of cancer. At the age of two my grandson, Michael had brain cancer. I did not keep the record. i just went through it as his grandfather. I wrote about this in a blog called cancer and the cure. Michael survived with six chemo treatments and stem cell work. He is now twelve and doing well although he has a huge scar hidden on the back of his neck where they went in and operated. He is a miracle child and if you do read the story maybe it will help you through what you are going through. I wish you the best.

    • Thanks awax,
      I can’t even imagine a child going through such a nightmare. I can only hope he has no memory of anything. I will certainly read your story. So happy your grandson is thriving. Scars can be very cool and make for great stories.:-)

      • He does not remember the pain. Just the scar and a portal near his stomach area. But we remember. Of the 23 patients taken on by Dr. Finley twenty died. We knew the odds were against us but he was given a last chance and we all took it. Nine years clean and the brain rerouted and he appears okay.

  21. I’m with you, except I’m the girl that says, “FORGET cancer!” Aren’t you glad you chose him, and he chose you. You needed each other for a time like this. Best wishes in the future, and the Dollar Store rocks! When you have cash. Awesome you’re sticking to your vows 🙂 Angel by his side..

    • I am hardly an angel but I can’t imagine being anywhere else but by his side. Yes, the Dollar Store is amazing and fun just not that day. Thanks so much for reading my story.

  22. Without going into detail, I too have been touched by Cancer many times. It takes bravery to even contemplate writing it all down, let alone in a public forum. You are going to be your husband’s rock, it is quite obvious. Throw some extra gas on the fire when you burn the fucker.

    • I am sorry for anyone who has gone through this experience. I had no idea how hard it would be. Actual hard work! If I don’t write I’ll just go nutty and I don’t have the time for that. Thanks so much for your kind words.

  23. May this all be a blip in your memory one day. Sucks. Sorry. Your anger (good) and your love are palpable in this beautiful piece.

    • Tricia, in our house when bad things happen we always say we can’t wait until this is a funny story we tell at parties. We hope. Thank you for your words.

  24. whew. your words. it isn’t just his cancer. ownership begets stewardship, e.g. buying the notebook. keep your head up. show him he isn’t alone even if he already knows.

    • It is definitely ‘our’ cancer. He worries about me as much as I worry about him. Yes, I always try. He’s my guy.

  25. Wow. Had to share this on FB. Thank you for your eloquent expression of a situation too many of us have had to face in one way or another.

  26. I hate to hear of the challenges your family face. It is clear that you are blessed with a wonderful support system. My heart thoughts and well wishes are riding the wind to your doorstep. May you find comfort and courage in the days ahead.

  27. From a cancer survivor to a cancer fighter – “WE CAN DO IT!”

  28. Hi!
    I stumbled over to your blog, and I’m glad iI did. May God give ou the strenght to face today. My husband has loss twenty pounds the don’t know the cause of it. Some days are good and some are bad. Some days we are up all night, Today is a good da. Am I fearful of the C word? up, ou betcha. I keep on going and pray and pray, I hope they find out what is wrong with him.
    Thank you for posting your experience. I hope this helps you as well.

    • I hope you find what’s wrong with your husband very soon. We are having a good day today also. We can both be grateful for today.

  29. Both of my aunts had cancer. They both beat it. I hope the same for you and your husband. Since you guys both have it (though not in the literal sense) I hope you BOTH beat it. Kick its ass…

  30. My husband and I have the same way of approaching things, its us vs. it/them, which is much better than me against the world. Having a dark sense of humor helps too.
    I think theres a website called fuckcancerfoundation.org that has some very lovely items that say “Fuck Cancer!”
    It really is the best motto ever in this scenario. Best wishes your way!

  31. When my husband was diagnosed, we were told: “He has the diagnosis- you both have the disease.” Sending you hope and strength on this journey.

  32. I love your attitude towards your husband and you and also towards cancer!

  33. I just had to read this out loud to my hubby. I had to. There was no way to explain why I was smiling through tears and a snotty nose. As you shared, this was a great reality check about what those vows are really about. Wish you all the best!

    • Thank you. We were married in my parents’ house by a Justice of the Peace. Not all were happy about that but we are of two different faiths and that was our choice. We both took our vows ver seriously and feel we are a unique and special couple.

  34. Here is a poem by a high schooler that echoes your sentiments
    http://suburbanreturn.wordpress.com/2012/10/22/extras-i-hate-you/

    Good luck with your journey. Cherish every day.

    • Thank you so much for sharing the poem. It was wonderful! I will save and share it. As a former teacher I was impressed in a variety of ways and then moved to tears on a personal level. Cancer is evil yet we have met the most lovely people throughout our ordeal. We are constantly overwhelmed by the kindness of others. There is a lesson in there somewhere. Thanks again.

  35. Praying for you.

  36. The breakdown in the fake dollar store, as you said, is not uncommon. In a similar distressed state, I could not even enter public places. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are strong. Stay that way.

  37. I hope you beat the cancer. My husband and I have just gone through a similar health crisis after a serious bike accident and reconstructive surgery for me, and the job of taking care of me for him. My husband gave up all his regular activities to be there for me and was totally invested in helping me get better. I would hope I would be as good as he was to him if the situation were reversed, but I hope to never have to find out. His dedication to me was overwhelming. Despite the horror of the accident and the difficult recovery, going through this together made us realize how precious our relationship is and made us fall in love with each other anew. I hope you and your husband receive a similar side benefit as you go through this cancer crisis together.

    • You expressed precisely what we are going through. Thank you for sharing. So happy you are healing from your terrible accident.

  38. My mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 recurrent breast cancer, so I can empathize with what you’re experiencing in a way. You have inspired me to include my family’s journey in my new blog. Thank you. Stay strong, because you are way stronger than you may realize. I’ll be praying for y’all. xoxo

    • I am so sorry to hear of your mom and her battle. It is a family affair so take care of yourself as well. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. Absolutely include in your blog. Your Mom’s journey will impact the rest of your life. Write about it.

  39. heart-wrenching, and great writing. And in reading the comments, it’s wonderful to see how it’s not only you and your husband in this but the wider community you’ve created. Thanks.

  40. Thanks so much for sharing these intimate thoughts, Rochelle. I wish you both the best, and I hope that you continue to blog about your experiences alongside Rod.

  41. He’s luck to have you. My mom and wife were my “note takers” at every appointment during my diagnosis and treatment. I don’t know what they did with their notebooks, but burning them seem like a great idea. I’m 1 year cancer free. Hang in there. Fuck all the cancers.

    • Congratulations on being cancer free! Truly happy for you. Moms and wives make a great team when you mess with someone they both love.

  42. I appreciate that I have no idea who you are (this is the first of your posts I’ve read) so this may sound a bit strange but, I wish I could be there to burn the book with you. My family has a history of the disease (including myself) so I can fully empathise with the anger and determination you are currently feeling. I wish you and Rod all the best.

    • Thank you so much. I’m not not usually one for burning books but for this we can make an exception and you are welcome to join us.

  43. Your blog has left me sobbing.
    Thank you for sharing.
    My heart goes out to both if you.
    I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

  44. I cannot wait for you to burn it too. Your amazing, and your strong. ❤ I pray that his health might return. You are an exceptional writer by the way, I know that your writing style doesn't compare to your message, but you do have a really unique writing style that I like.

  45. “The fake dollar store” made me chuckle. Good read. Thank you

  46. love the way you speak of your bond with your Rod – touchwood and god bless…wish him a speedy cure and then look forward to seeing a post on how you mocked the diary 🙂

  47. praying for you two, will keep you both in my prayers. may you be free of suffering and its causes. may you both find joy

  48. Round two of chemo begins tomorrow. Chemo=yummy ice pops. Yay!

  49. I a sorry to hear of “your” illness. You are a truly wonderful couple and together you can tell this “cancer” to go f””k itself. I had a bought with lobular carcinoma and five years of treatment and 4 surgeries where between the age of 43 to 47 I had a lump removed,,a d & c, my ovaries removed and finally my uterus. My husband who is my rock took care of me though it all. Once I got stronger and some great antidepressants later my wonderful husband got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I felt like my world had crashed and someone had just ripped the floor out from under me. I walked around in a fog and I cried just about everywhere I went. But he just kept telling me to be strong that everything was going to be alright. We still have not found a medicine that works good for him and he has had some silent attacks, but we pray and we try to enjoy every moment we have together. You two have an amazing bond. This will give you strength. No matter what nothing not even cancer can take it away from you. Love like you’ve never loved before live every moment to the fullest and remember all of us here are praying and giving you our spiritual support. May God bless you both. I wish you all the best.

    • Ugh.. so sorry for all your challenges. Some days must be so hard for you. We just hang on to the good ones and hope and actually count on the fact that each day brings new possibilities. Wishing you all the best. Thank you for your kind words.

  50. I just got married…a few months ago. I still am working on figuring out how exactly to fit into a couple when I’ve been single for so long. I’m thirty-eight and have wanted to be with someone for as long as I can remember and yet sorting out the ours and yours and mine has been a challenge I didn’t realize I’d face. I’m lucky though because my husband is a pretty patient guy. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your husband diagnosed with cancer. I’d feel as though suddenly I didn’t know my place and what I should do and how I could help. I’d struggle. And I’d feel selfish as I watched him struggle. At some point I imagine that I’d stop beating myself over the head and realize that it’s a totally bullshit thing to have to face and that it’s ok to feel whatever I’m feeling. And then, I’d put all of my energy into one day, burning that fucker. I liked this post a great deal. I don’t like what you both have to deal with and I’ll keep you in my thoughts. And is it me or is it total bullshit that a dollar store carries anything that costs more than a dollar. Seems like a small gripe in comparison to cancer but it really butters my biscuit.

    • Congratulations on your recent marriage. How exciting! One of the toughest years was the first year of marriage for the very reason you stated. Lots of lust 🙂 but also lots of adjusting. After a while it all just falls into place. You are right in that I didn’t know quite what to do when my husband was diagnosed and I constantly felt and feel I should do more or do better. We all just do the best we can. I agree about the Dollar Store. I included it in my blog because it is funny and ironic. Also, my town has far too many dollar stores! Geez, how many do we really need? Thanks for seeing the humor. Thanks for your well wishes.

  51. I pray though this journey you will have peace and comfort, especially strength to endure and get through it all. YES I love the REAL DOLLAR STORE. I’m rooting for the day you two don’t have doctor appts, logs, and tests to run up against. ❤ the nurse.

    • If you are a nurse you have my deepest admiration. Love nurses! Thanks for your warm wishes.

      • Great to hear the appreciation of people that love nurses. =) WE are there every step of the way…even when we part ways from you. We chose this profession because of individuals like yourself. REMEMBER that!! <3333

  52. Cancer Sucks! I have lost too many people that I love to this terrible disease.
    Keep your focused on the positive and ways to keep your body strong.
    Please know that you are not alone in this journey, just look at all your fans right here!
    P.S. I love that you titled your book “Fuck Cancer”. It really is the only thing worth saying about it.

  53. Reblogged this on the amazing world of madame.

  54. Hang in there and give cancer the boot!!!

  55. Sorry you both are having to go through this. Yes, it is the spouse’s/partner’s illness as well as the person who has it, and sometimes it is even worse for the partner, I think. Hugs to you both, and wishes for a good outcome.

  56. My dad had cancer for almost my entire life so I can definitely relate, and I want to wish both of you the best of luck! Xoxo.

  57. onlywithwords says:

    I love you. You guys stay strong.

  58. cancer is something that not only affects the person it’s chosen, but also their entire family. I can understand what you are going through; my father was diagnosed with a blood cancer 4 years ago. My warm thoughts and wishes are coming your way.

  59. I agree, FUCK cancer! Healing thoughts to you and your husband. If you haven’t already, you may want to consider getting in touch with a correlated non-profit because they can help eliminate the “Worst case scenario” fears and put you in touch with previous survivors and give you a realistic view of what’s to come or provide cutting edge treatments. For example, I have a friend going through myeloma and LLS is already paying for a lot of his chemo and put him in touch with a mentor survivor.

  60. Michael Sobell says:

    I am in the opposite camp from you, in that I have the incurable cancer and my wife has to watch me suffer. And I cannot bear to see her face when I am in pain, as I cannot control my facial and bodily expressions that the pain contorts me into and her natural love and sympathy wants her to stay in the room to ‘help’ and her natural inclination is to run a mile.
    The hurt on her face is more than I can bear but I don’t want to shut her out, as I know she will feel more hurt if I did that.
    On the positive side, I was given a prognosis in November 2011 of 9-14 months and I am still around – in pain maybe, but still around.

  61. Made me so emotional. Salute your courage. Stay strong guys. Cancer is a mere page in the wonderful novel called “life”.

  62. I know you don’t want sympathy more than support. But how can one not be sympathetic if one has been touched by this? Yes, it is hard, but you know you are doing all you can, and writing everything down is the way to go. Don’t stagnate. Don’t let hubby stagnate. Try everything you can to beat this. Just over a year ago we, as a family went through what you are going through, and yes it is so difficult to talk about. But you are talking. Keep going; my thoughts are with you from this moment on. I can’t pray, I don’t believe. But I can have beautiful and healing thoughts for you both. You are so brave. Keep going. Bless you both.

    • Read this aloud to my husband as he lay here getting round 2 of chemo. Thank you so much. We are overwhelmed by all the support.

    • OK Rod and Rochelle, here is something I would like you to do. I will be honest, I failed with my relative Ron, but he was a bit old fashioned and didn’t believe. However, I am 71, suffered several strokes and have remained stable with what I am going to describe.
      Here you go Rod…Every day, at least once, find a quiet time for yourself. Sit down with both feet on the floor. Relax-this is important. Now close your eyes and imagine blue light from above (can be sky blue) flowing in through the top of your head, down through your body and out of your feet into the ground. Now, I’m not saying this is easy when you first try it. But if you persist you will in a short time feel this healing energy flowing through your body. When you can do this, imagine the cancer and the healing energy killing it. Say it in your mind if you can…Something like; I am killing you cancer and I am going to keep killing you until you are gone. All my blessings.

  63. Hang in there… lots of healing energy to your family.

  64. I am an Oncology nurse and I just want you to know that you are brave. There are lots of people in your shoes and they feel just as helpless and lost and scared and pissed. And you have a right to feel that way. The more honest you are with yourself the better you will feel and the better you will be at receiving support from people around even when you might have felt like you didn’t need it. And you be better at supporting your husband. Keep your chin up, and go at it full force. Sending good mojo your way!

    -Kristen

    • Thank you for your well wishes and even more thank you and big hugs for being an oncology or any kind of nurse. We love nurses in this house. 😘

  65. When you burn it, we will all celebrate with you! Sending positive thoughts your way!

  66. Just ran into this post today. I just got diagnosed with Breast cancer 2 weeks ago. I had to buy a cancer notebook as well. I ended up buying a white 3 ring notebook and using monster high duct tape as a decoration. FUCK CANCER indeed! Lots of good thoughts for you and your family 🙂

  67. Life and Other Turbulence says:

    As a cancer survivor, I am frequently asked how I navigated the journey…the multiple surgeries and successive malignant pathologies. It’s not any easier when it’s a loved one who’s got cancer…I’ve been there too. I tell everyone I know, whether facing cancer personally or supporting a loved one, just keep your eye on the horizon and take each day steady as you can. One day at a time…that’s all. Just one day at a time.

    Sending all good wishes.

    • Thank you so much. So true. We often say, today is a good day or not so good. That is the reality. Appreciate your comments.

  68. I have a number of those damn books! All the best to you both. You are so right, this is not something that one person in a couple experiences. It is a joint venture, you just experience it in different ways. Sending positive, pain free, healing mojo and vibes (for you both)!

  69. Sorry to hear about the diagnosis of cancer for your spouse. You are right…it consumes both of you and exhausts you both. Forgetfulness comes from the high stress and is not that anything is failing you at the moment. Watching someone you love suffer and worry and not be his usual healthy self is damn hard

    Cancer is a family diagnosis for it impacts all of those whom he loves and those whom love him. Cancer diagnosis, treatment, the fear of the unknown, bad/good news all conspire to challenge us with all we have. We fear for our loved one and fear for ourselves. It exhausts everyone.

    May you find some small bright light in this dark room. May those around you envelop you in their support and love. May you find a bit of humor in each day and appreciate each other even more. Know that God carries you when you don’t feel you can do it any longer .

    Support groups may be helpful..the internet is full of them or your doctor’s office can point you in that direction.

    I don’t know you..but I’m sending you a virtual hug…not as good as the real thing, but will have to do.

    Christy

    • Christy, thank you for all your beautiful and comforting words. Knowing that others understand how overwhelming this is has been so helpful. People, like you, that have been so genuinely kind has made a huge difference to us. Thank you so much.

  70. Don’t you worry about it, bloody cancer hates even black n white. I pray for good health of your husband, its not just you, we all are together in this fight. We will kick cancer’s bloody ass and burn that fucker to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs. many have lost their loved ones coz of this demon, ‘m one of them. Having lost a major part of my world, i know the most terrible thing on earth, in the whole of universe is to be helpless when your loved one is battling with death. I wish that doesn’t happen to anyone in the world. have hopes, be positive and u half win the battle there already. most importantly have a genuine smile on ur face.

  71. I want to wish you both the best of luck at beating the Cancer. x

  72. I am very sad to here about Rod’s cancer. Get well soon!! The moment I stated feeling your pain I kinda lost the feelings for all my problems.

  73. Thanks for sharing the rawness of your experience. Truly touching.

  74. I’m so sorry for everything that’s happening,
    I can’t imagine going through that.
    Keep your heads up.

  75. dawnhosking says:

    I can empathise with what you describe re cancer – my experience was when my dad got it and boy does it mess with your head. The book is a sound idea.

  76. I was really moved by your post, My better half and I know what you are going thru. We are Cancer survivors.
    Please stay strong and Angry, never give up no matter what. I we made it thru you can too.
    I know that i don’t know you or your husband but if there is any thing we can do let me know.

  77. I did nine rounds and a 5 week dose of chemo and radiation, If you can use cannibus to kill the nausia and pain, he will be able to eat, and make sure to exersize walk a little, and try to challenge the tiredness. Both of you..
    Use ensure if you can to fight weight loss, and most of all don’t succumb to morbid and deppressing thoughts, try to stay positive.

  78. This is both moving an heartbreaking. Thank you so much for sharing…

    ❤ God bless

  79. wordsbyannierose says:

    Hi Rochelle.
    Thanks so much for sharing this story. I found it so inspiring.
    My thoughts go out to you and Rod. Stay strong and fight hard.
    All the best, annierose x

    • Hi Annierose. Thank you for your kind words.

      • wordsbyannierose says:

        Hello again, Rochelle. I’ve been thinking about your blog since I first read it. I have a close relative who was recently diagnosed with an incurable cancer. Your blog has really stuck in my head. With your permission, I would love to use the idea for a story. I wouldn’t include any names, nor any specifics about your story, I am more interested in using the idea of “the cancer book” itself.
        Looking forward to your response. Best, annierose.

      • Hi Annierose, Thank you for your interest in my little story. My husband is feeling pretty well right now as we prepare for chemo round 3.I hope you will continue to follow our journey on buntology.com. WhileI understand and respect that you would ask to use the cancer book idea in your storyI don’t know thatI have any rights to it. I will likely be tying all my entries together at some point and one never knows where that might lead but feel free to use the idea of a cancer book in your book if you would like. Best of luck with your own writing and to your relative who was diagnosed. My husband andI have learned so much since his diagnosis. Mostly that people are good and kind and want to help. Accepting help has been hard but we are learning. Be well and I look forward to reading your work one day. Rochelle

        ________________________________

      • wordsbyannierose says:

        Thank you so much for you kind words Rochelle, and for you permission to use the cancer book. If it like any of my other ideas it will take some time to come to fruition, but I will pass any news or development on to you.
        So glad to hear your husband is doing well at the moment. My thoughts are with you, stay strong.
        Best, AnnieRose.

  80. Love this blog post. Reminds me of my Dad’s “Happy Cancer Birthday”. There us three daughters were the day after his first chemo run..bursting into his bedroom as he lay in agony after the lovely cancer poison kept him up all night..our wavering birthday cake candles on a cake he couldn’t eat and holding a gift he couldn’t unwrap as we harmonized our heartfelt yet slightly pathetic rendition of happy birthday to him and his bedpan. Nothing like a few balloons, some half assed streamers, cake and a dose of denial to celebrate such a festive occasion, right? He now refers to our pathetic attempts as the happy cancer birthday. All we were missing was a f*cking marching band:)

  81. ashley brooks says:

    My heart breaks at this news. You two are some of the strongest indivduals I have met, and I know together you can overcome anything. Sending all my love and good vibes to you both. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do. xoxoxx ashley, kc, finn, dom

  82. It made me smile and cry to read this, i love how you’ve described how much you’re in it together. I have cancer, and I’m painfully aware that though I’m the one with the tumour, my husband is going through this with me. He never complains, even when I’m angry and negative and tearful. I know it would kill him to lose me and that gives me the strength to fight this horrible horrible thing – as I’m sure it does your husband. I feel like my husband and I have consolidated since my diagnosis, a few weeks off a year ago now. I can’t wait to kick it out of my system so he can relax again, by god he deserves it!

    Good luck to you guys xx

  83. My sympathy is with you. I have cancer, too. It is a terrible fight but we`ll win it. I`m from Bulgaria and we have to fight with the system which is careless for cancer patients – leaves them very often without treatment and support. So good luck and beat the beast!

    • Thank you for your kind and caring words. All the best with your cancer battle (and it is a battle!).

      ________________________________

  84. nateokonkwo says:

    Reblogged this on OnlineMarketing.

Trackbacks

  1. […] blog posts by other writers. I stumbled across a post that especially caught my attention, titled The Cancer Book. It’s written by the wife of a cancer patient.  Her personal anger and emotional fragility […]

  2. […] Read part one of The Cancer Book here.  […]

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