Life, Liberty and the pursuit of French Fries

I guess Benjamin Franklin is hot in an Oscar Bluth kind of way.

I don’t know much — OK, anything — about foreign policy. I don’t know why we all just can’t get along, share and play nice like we were taught in kindergarten. I don’t understand why any of us think we own this planet and have any more right to one part of it than anyone else. I also don’t understand why people litter. I’m so silly.
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When people start spouting off about socialism, I am all: “Huh? Is that a bad thing?” Socialism has the word social in it and I’m pretty darn social! How can social anything be so awful? And all this economy stuff is enough to make my head spin. Seriously, did you really think you were in Oz and the Prez was the wizard? I need a heart, I need courage and I need a balanced budget. Don’t you crack up when they toss around numbers in the trillions? TRILLIONS?! What does that even mean?

You know who could balance the budget? ME! You wouldn’t like it but I could do it. My husband wanted pizza last night but guess what? No money so couldn’t get it.

Oh, we could have “borrowed” it from the money that will pay our bills, but that doesn’t fly in my house. That’s why we still have a house! Oh well, let me stick with what I do know. I know what is right morally, ethically, and personally as a human being and certainly as a citizen of a free country.

If Homer thinks it’s OK, then it must be OK.

While the economy struggles and a 20-year-old in my own town comes home from Afghanistan in a flag-draped box, I know I will vote, once again, for the person who says equal rights for all. This I do know something about. I will not vote for any person who refuses to recognize marriage equality. It is beyond my comprehension how in the 21st century we still ostracize people. You can serve in the military, you can vote and you must pay your taxes, but hold on a minute … you aren’t quite right, and ever-so-sacred marriage where you commit yourself to another human being for the rest of your life (or until you divorce or kill them) is unacceptable for your kind!

Personally, I don’t give a damn if you are “uncomfortable” with same-sex marriage because it is not about your comfort. My new shoes weren’t comfortable but I got used to them. Get over your discomfort. And I don’t care what your religion says — I got married by a Justice of the Peace and that worked just fine for me 31 years ago.

You know what they say, “Never trust a man whose head hair connects to his beard.” Sorry, Karl.

The fact is our founding fathers may or may not have considered same-sex marriage. In fact, a whole lot of men signed the Declaration of Independence so you can’t tell me at least one (or perhaps two) of them wasn’t gay (I mean, c’mon). Not to mention they had slaves so we can’t just keep saying “our founding fathers this and that” at every turn.

Let’s get over this marriage issue already!

And may I just make mention of those that say they are OK with health care but refuse to pay for anyone’s birth control? Seriously? Is reproductive health not part of health care? Does every couple want a child every time they have sex? By the way, birth control is used for dozens of reasons that have nothing to do with reproduction so get your head out of your 1950’s arse and take a biology course. Clearly whoever is so concerned with this is not having sex and has no clue what the cost of an unwanted pregnancy is, whether one terminates, has the child and keeps it, or gives it up for adoption. Children are expensive! Why would you not support birth control for those who can’t afford it? What the hell is wrong with you?

I realize that I am simplifying, and am not informed of the minutia that people love to argue about.

I just know what I know.