Live-blogging Hurricane Irene in NYC

Whaddya do when you’re stuck inside with nothing to do but ride out a hurricane? You write about it, obviiii.

Saturday, 11 a.m.

Head to the store before noon (that’s when stuff started closing) to get “supplies.” Holy sh*t you would think the apocalypse struck NYC. Part of me thinks that people are just using this storm as an excuse to buy as much unhealthy food as possible and completely pig out for the weekend. Even if the storm was at its worst and lasted two full days with no water or electricity, you would. not. need. that much water or food.

this should be enough, right?

When I walked into Gristedes and saw the line wrapping all the way to the BACK of the grocery store, I legit thought, “I would rather die in a hurricane than wait in this line,” and walked out. Headed to my fav local deli and got all the necessities. Unfortunately this did not include batteries or a flashlight. Whatever. What did they do before electricity in storms? It’s called candles, people! Plus I have the flashlight app on my Iphone…

2:30 – 5:55 p.m.
Turned off all of the fear-mongering news and weather stations. Napped for almost four hours so that I was well rested for all of the sitting-around-doing-nothing that I’d do during the storm. Woke up covered in drool to let my super in so that he could caulk the inside seam to the downstairs door, the door that might potentially let water in to my apartment. Basically my only concern is that my basement will flood, and the only reason that really bothers me is because my bedroom is down there (yes I’m a vampire). Outside the door are big bags of sand and plastic stacked against it, and now half-dry caulk lines the inside.

8:00 – 11:00 p.m.
Poured myself my first drink and turned on the Food Network. Don’t need any other friends besides ol’ Jack. And my roommate’s cat who is sleeping next to me completely oblivious to the IMPENDING DOOM about to strike the city. Already started tapping into my “supplies” and am about halfway done with the bag of chips I bought. Am wondering why I didn’t buy any pasta or anything for an actual meal. Did I really think I was going to survive on Naked Juices all weekend? What an idiot.

mom & dad huddled together for survival.

I’ve spent the last few hours watching Chopped (best show EVERRR) and Skyping with my family:

my sister... clearly very scared about the storm.

Sunday, 12:04 a.m.
I just finished putting my bed back on its frame by myself. Like, took the mattress and box-spring off and reassembled the metal frame and put the box-spring and mattress back on. It actually wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but I managed to break the middle finger on my left hand and slice open the middle finger on my right hand in the process. But at least now my bed is a couple inches off the floor. All I gotta say is- it better flood down there.

12:53 a.m.
Made some weird concoction involving Morning Star fake chicken nuggets mixed with baby carrots and Frank’s Red Hot Sauce. Really wishing I had bought some pasta. My roommate just got home from work- thank God for another human in this apartment. She walked in with an umbrella and poncho and rain boots on. Up until that point I hadn’t even realized it was raining outside… My finger hurts.

2:10 a.m.
Playing a drinking game with my roomie while we watch “How I Met Your Mother.” You have to drink 1. anytime the characters are drinking at McLaren’s, 2. anytime Barney brags about a sexual conquest or 3. anytime they do a flashback. So…I am drunk. A little teeensy bit of water is starting to get inside the apartment, so to be extra cautious we put down big black trash bags and stuck them to the not-yet-dry caulk. Don’t really know how trash bags will stop water, but it seems like a proactive idea.

4:29 a.m.
I’m already a night owl, but tonight I’ve made a conscious effort to stay up longer so that I’d sleep later and miss as much of the storm as possible tomorrow.

"insanity" workout... it's insane.

Not to ruin my punk rock exterior, but when it comes to thunder, lightning, wind, and basically any stormy condition, I’m a humongous baby. I’ve spent the last hour drinking my third (I know – how pathetic! But they were strong) Jack n’ Coke and watching the most ridiculous infomercial ever. Now I hear the rain picking up, so I think I’ll head to my newly elevated bed, smoke a bone and pass out. Hopefully when I wake up I won’t be underwater…

4:42 a.m.
Downstairs hallway is starting to flood. F*CK.

2:41 p.m.
Just woke up. My plan to sleep through the storm worked! Wait… was there even a storm? I expected to wake up to puddles of water outside my bedroom door, but it looks as if the slight leakage I reported last night has completely dried. And wait… is it even still raining outside? Wow. This is lame. I wonder what the rest of theΒ  city looks like? Is everything still closed? Did the apocalypse actually come and I’m the only living boy in New Yorkkkkkk?

3:00 p.m.
Checked Weather.com for updates, but it’s hard to decipher between reality and propaganda fear tactics. It looks like there was some “flooding” in Battery Park City along the boardwalk, but I use the term flooding loosely because it’s basically up to the ankles of the reporter. Yawnnn. What an anti-climactic ending, and now I have all these f*cking Naked Juices in my fridge.

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Comments

  1. Aimee Schulman says:

    amazing! totally hear you on the pig out session for the weekend. you don’t even want to know how many people i saw walking around with bags of milano cookies on the check out line. bags! god forbid there’s no water, but at least you have cookies! also, i’m wondering why i didn’t buy anything of substance either – i’m existing on snackwells, special k cereal, and watermelon? i spent 70$ at the grocery but i’m not entirely sure on what.

  2. you can almost see my tittays

  3. ❀

  4. Can I eat wood or do I have to cook it? Please advise in the case of a power outage.

  5. Do you want me to send you a photo of me without a shirt to post? I will send one, but only if it will boost moral.

  6. Or, if it doesn’t boost moral. Then too.

  7. send send send! lemme see that core.

  8. I can’t, I’m too out of shape to boost anyone’s moral with my core. 😦

  9. Actually, I’ll send you one of my old profile pictures where my core is looking really great. Hopefully that will help people weather the storm.

  10. Kate Mahaney says:

    awesome post ange!

    nice jugs jackie!

  11. Thanks Kate πŸ˜‰

    I assume your vacuum doesn’t work that well but try sucking up the water with it. Put sand bags in front of your room. If you have any lying around

  12. I don’t go to cnn.com for my breaking news updates, i go to BUNTOLOGY.COM

  13. You got the bed off the floor! yay.. See how nagging helps. Sure you hate me but it was worth the 2 fingers (you do have 8 others). By now.. you might be floating around in the basement so …hopefully will hear from you soon. Hmm. it’s getting a little windy out there.

  14. Buck up kiddo.. I hear Hurricane season goes til like..November.

  15. Only livin boy in newwwww yorkkk

  16. now you can go buy pasta πŸ™‚

  17. i love naked juices, hook it up!

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