Gustav Update 1 – [by Rusty Shakelferd]


Our on-the-spot reporter, Rusty Shakelferd, has an update!

Sunday, Aug. 31, 2008:

ATLANTA — It is official! After ripping Cuba a new asshole (that’s what you get, you pinko commie bastards) Hurricane Gustav has been upgraded to a Category 4 hurricane (winds roughly between 130-155 mph). It is predicted that this bitch of a storm may reach a category 5 by late Sunday or early Monday and quite possibly make “The Perfect Storm” look as if George Clooney was just pissing in the wind.

In fact, Mayor Ray Nagin (the mayor of New Orleans and smooth-talking brotha with a flair for the dramatic) has already dubbed Hurricane Gustav “the storm of the century,” and has told every citizen of the city to get the hell out.

The hurricane may also put a damper on the Labor Day plans for the majority of citizens on the Dirty Coast, as it is predicted to make landfall on Monday or Tuesday.

Good night and Godspeed.

Rusty Shakelferd

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Comments

  1. Godspeed, Rusty. Godspeed.

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